Romans 5:5

"With gracious uncertainty, we can be confident in our expectations, knowing our hope in the Lord will not disappoint."

this is one of my favorite verses (one of many).  right now, i'm a bit restless.  sige na nga, kwento ko sainyo nang konti. hahahah. hindi man lang ako nagpappilit, di ba? *drumroll* i'm sort of praying for someone.  i've always avoided this because of my fears of disappointment and feeling of unreadiness.  i'm not saying i'm mature enough now, but God knows i've been trying my best the past few years.  i realized that i'm slowly, finally coming into my own, and i think this is important for spiritual maturity.  i'm trying to be more positive and realistic at the same time, and i'm doing my best to live my life according to what He wants, even if it's difficult or i'm feeling lazy or it doesn't matter to other people that i do.

see, i've developed a very new friendship with someone (it's only been less than two weeks since we actually started talking).  this could be infatuation, for all we know.  but he is a wonderful person, a good friend.  i didn't pray that he be the one, my GG or GPC.  but i did pray for the friendship to deepen and for both of us to become better for it.  and i am also open (hoping?) to the possibility that it could lead to something more.

anyway, i haven't talked to him in 36 hours. grabe, infatuation na ata talaga 'to.  di ba ganun 'yun?  hindi ka mapakali? hahahah. i'm dying to text him, kahit quote lang! pa-cute lang. hahahah.  but i also recognize that i shouldn't try to take some matters in my own hands, the way i've done so before in different situations and to disastrous results.  so, this is my mantra today.  "With gracious uncertainty, we can be confident in our expectations, knowing our hope in the Lord will not disappoint."  i just need to be patient and have faith in Him.  Lord, ikaw na bahala.  i'm here to please You, and not to satisy my own desires.  Please give me the grace to always and only do what is for You.  Strengthen my faith, that i may learn to accept Your will and make them my own, knowing that Yours is always the best.